Stealing Your Money, Writing a Novel and Going on Vacation

Dear Reader, Issue 8, Volume 2

Original art by Brian Reindel

Dear Reader:

I try not to write two Dear Reader posts so close together, but I have changes, announcements and random thoughts that must be spewed into the Substackosphere. May this forever contribute to your quality of life and leave you in a euphoric daze at least for the next 24 hours.

The first announcement is that I swapped the Dear Reader title and subtitle, and will move forward with this new format. While this should have no impact on your emotional well-being, it may destroy the fragile sensibilities of your email provider. Or, in the very least upset the AI that now reads all of your emails and forms harsh judgements about your interpersonal relationships.

I’ve also introduced a new image for this section, which keeps things fresh around these parts. We live several miles from a landfill, and I know how important it is to keep things fresh, especially in the summer heat. Nobody notices except once a year on the hottest day, when the garbage gods decide to burn off all of the loaded diapers.

Stealing Your Money

Okay, the first really big announcement is that I’ve decided to turn on a paid subscription option again. If this immediately causes you to seethe with anger, or purchase a rage room season pass, then you know how to smash that unsubscribe button. But before you do, let me inform you that everything posted will still be free to read for the first three months.

Paid subscribers will have access to all previously published short stories and issues of Dear Reader that are older than 90 days. There are a number of reasons I’m doing this, including the fact that I’m a greedy capitalist trying to build an empire with a golden throne room. My current throne room is constructed mostly of ceramic tile and porcelain, making it very difficult to concentrate.

Another reason I’m paywalling archives is because I would like to become a paid subscriber to other Substacks, and your financial support makes it possible. This act of altruism was first floated by Michael Estrin of Situation Normal, who is now swimming in cash and bathing in bitcoin. I’m obligated by Substack’s subversive community bylaws to give him credit. Fair warning that Michael is both a potty mouth and one of those sorts who is trying to better humanity by spreading wealth around.

Oh Michael, when will you ever learn that life is better as a heartless oligarch. You can usually find him on the picket lines with a wallet full of Benjamins, regaling his fellow workers with sordid tales about the foibles of middle age and problematic deli owners.

The final reason I’m making this change is because I don’t plan on releasing another traditionally published collection of short stories. I never dreamed my book The Stars Will Fall would do as well as it did. I’m very grateful for the success, but it’s difficult to compete these days with beach reads about Amish widows looking to rekindle romance in their golden years, or boss girls who want to have their cake and eat it off Brad from accounting.

As such, Future Thief is my living collection. In the coming weeks the stories published in the book that were never published on Substack will go up behind the paywall. I will be sure to let paid subscribers know when that effort is complete, and I will identify the stories with a single custom image. That way if you did not purchase the book, you still have an opportunity to read those astounding works of wonder and magic.

Writing a Novel

I’ve talked before about writing a novel, or thinking about wanting to write a novel, or planning to think about wanting to write a novel. That time has arrived. I’m writing a novel. It sounds dangerous saying that, but that’s me, Mr. Danger, living on the edge of the narrative universe. It’s a young adult (YA) fantasy, and depending upon how the initial planning goes it will end up as a trilogy. That’s too far into the future to say for sure.

I didn’t set out to write a YA novel. It’s never been my intention, I don’t read YA (other than Harry Potter), and there’s nothing specific about the age bracket that is identifiably attractive. But the story I need to tell is primarily for young adults. It’s actually for everyone, but when it comes down to sales and marketing, it will land in the YA fantasy category. It’s the only story that keeps me interested, is deeply personal and contains a relatable protagonist, cast of characters and plot.

The story is one I explored in the past as a possible graphic novel series, but it never solidified, leaving me with lots of preparation material and a high-level outline. It was like a jelly donut without the jelly, or in my case a cannoli pastry with no cream filling. I love cannoli, but I love baklava most. One day I will sit on my golden throne with my YA novel and eat baklava while I dream of retirement.

Since I know you’ll ask, it won’t be serialized on Substack. It’s not how I want to release it out into the world. Fret not, I will publish the first chapter here on Future Thief for all subscribers, most likely after act one is complete. It will be to test the waters of reception and expose myself to the genteel way in which my fellow fiction authors crush my resolve with feedback. Stay tuned.

Going on Vacation

I am on vacation while you read this. It’s been a minute and I’ve been excited to be away from work, anywhere else, for quite some time. I would like to thank my wife, who plans these getaways with the occasional nod in my direction, and who for the week before angry packs. We’re allowed bread and water during this tumultuous period while she stresses about toiletries and bathing suits.

If you’re a spouse who angry packs we salute you, but from a distance and with a worrisome smile that says this might be our last day alive. My only responsibility is to drive us for five hours straight once our death machine is packed. If you’ve ever watched Mad Max: Fury Road, then you’ve got a pretty good idea of how I get my family safely to our destination. There’s no stopping in the badlands, kids, Daddy’s running low on ammo and gasoline.

I will try to respond to comments in a timely manner, unless I’m chained to the front of a Tesla Roadster. In that case, all bets are off, look for me on the Five-O’clock news.

Happy Reading,

Brian Reindel