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Alpha Tooni's avatar

I really like how you show the reader what is going on and bestow upon them a sense of coming doom that some of the citizens of the story were too short-sighted to see. The Kraken coming at the end was a good touch too. Well done.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you for the feedback and for reading!

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Claire Walster's avatar

I'm a little late to this one, but I want to echo what the other commenters have said. You're imagery here was amazing. The little details really brought depth to the story. I especially loved the call back to the Kraken at the end.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks Claire, I'll take late! The great thing about the theme contests I've been entering every month is they allow for a specific focus (like the water), just like a prompt. It gets my imagination going in a way that it might not otherwise. Thanks for reading!

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Edward Rooster's avatar

The details were a delight, reading and hearing all the different water sounds, as the waters rose and something was coming to town :)

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks for reading, Edward! I've been meaning to start your serial. It looks very interesting.

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Bryn Robinson's avatar

“Open windows were a series of mouths, gasping for air.”

Great imagery!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you Bryn!

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Tom Pendergast's avatar

Some of the imagery in here is really great: the water in the wizard’s shoes, the gaping windows, the stinking dead whale. Nice work. I will say I found the final sentence a little “blunt,” maybe too definitive.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks for the feedback, Tom! This was an older entry that was submitted to the Elegant Literature Wild Waterways themed issue. It didn't make the cut. However, after working with you on some of my other stories, I went back through, gave it another edit and tightened it up, and it read so much better.

Oh, and the mayor definitely doesn't make it 😁

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