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Michelle Panama Dusa's avatar

This is awesome. If I were you I'd focus all my writing time on developing this ghost. Has super potential for a great character and story. Do you want to invest in it so much though? Sure would be a waste to not develop it more, create a new kind of Casper. So many stories can come from this one character, including his own background story.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Hi Michelle, thanks for the feedback! I do feel like this has some good movie potential! However, I have trouble revisiting characters from stories. I feel like the story has been told and if something longer were to come around I would just write it that way. I've got 2-3 now like that, where others have suggested building more into them, but I can't seem to go there. Thanks for reading and for your support!

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Victor D. Sandiego's avatar

Quite the ride, Brian. I like the way it unfolded. From a neutral or (possibly) even benevolent spirit slowly to one with a bit of bad to full on malevolence. Yow....

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Victor. His malevolence preceded him in the before life and the afterlife!

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Bryn Robinson's avatar

What delicious malevolence. 🏚️

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

👻👻👻🔥🔥🔥

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Claire Walster's avatar

A man's descent to madness turns into a ghost's descent to madness. As usual, your story built on itself so well as more details were revealed and the tone got dark! I was not prepared for Olivia's section 😱 I do not want a ghost stalker, thank you very much.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks, Claire. A regular stalker is bad enough, but a ghost stalker is next level. I usually don't go this dark with the tone, but the theme for the contest was Haunted Hideaways, so I knew I had to pull something a little different out of my hat!

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Claire Walster's avatar

I was surprised to see something this dark from you, that's for sure. But I think you definitely hit the nail on the head for a haunted themed contest.

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njakins@me.com's avatar

Merry Christmas Brian and a Happy New Year. I'm going to miss reading your stories.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you! Thanks for reading and I'll be back in January with loads of new stories for you to read 😁

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njakins@me.com's avatar

Ohhh that was a fantastic read!

I truly believe that there are spirits that can not pass on to the next level. Ensnared in their own hell that they created on earth while they were alive. I was relieved when the house burned down along with him never to torture another soul. But to burn in hell for eternity.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you! I was never that big on ghost stories, but this seemed like a good way to approach it, from the ghost's perspective instead of the living. Thank you for reading and for all your support!

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