17 Comments
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Sherman Alexie's avatar

“Ha, is this Boudwin the philosopher? I prefer Boudwin the warrior.” Great line! A moment of mirth on the way to war.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Sherman! I don't think faced with that kind of situation I could approach it with such levity, but I would like to think I could 😁

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Jim Cummings's avatar

"A small deception in a land of illusions" Very nice.

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Kip Nealdersun's avatar

Yes. I liked that line too.

And the way the two guards go casually about their life-risking business.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Kip!

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Kip Nealdersun's avatar

You're welcome! Keep writing good stories like this, please.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks, Jim 😄

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Justin Deming's avatar

I love your fantasy stories! What a well-written and exciting tale, Brian. I didn’t see the ending coming at all, but I like how everything concludes. Like others have said, the last line is perfect! Thanks so much for sharing.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you so much, Justin! I really enjoy writing the fantasy stories, but this one was tough! It sort of came in fits and starts and required lots of editing. So, I'm glad you liked it 😀

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Meg Oolders's avatar

"“We’ve all read The Laments and have seen the illustrations. I suspect it’s not much different than the monstrosity we were taught to fear as children,” Emmerich said. This is where it got really good for me. Great foreshadowing for some kind of reveal. Not what I expected it to be in the end, but that's even better!

Great story. Awesome last line. 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Meg! I considered deleting almost that whole first part. I originally started it where they are already on the mountain where that conversation takes place. Such is the problem with epic fantasy... so much world to build and the question of how much 🤔

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Meg Oolders's avatar

I've only written one fantasy story and that was the biggest challenge for me, too! It does seem to be a staple of fairy tale type stories though... once upon a time... insert world building, backstory, conflict... to start with almost like a prologue. I'm guessing the trick is to just buck that trend and say, "here's two dudes on a mountain about to fight a dragon, you guys figure out the rest." 😂

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Winston Malone's avatar

So much depth and character here! Great job, Brian!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks, Winston, I'm glad you enjoyed it!

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Rudolph Ferro's avatar

Wonderful tale as told...took me back, right there and then to the Middle Ages, to fight for justice and peace. Thank you for writing it. Rudolph Ferro rferro0322@gmail.com

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Rudolph, and thanks for reading!

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Njakins's avatar

I keep telling myself it's all an illusion, but the dragon keeps appearing when I least expect it.

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