Thank you, Ben! Originally, I did have a few more paragraphs of world building, but they really took away from the story progression. Meg Oolders of https://stockfiction.substack.com helped me to see that when she did an initial read.
This was so wonderful and strange, and it raised as many questions as it answered. Lots to think about with this one, from the fascinating world and its limited resource to the way it influences the society's values. I love the tension between self-sacrifice, altruism, pragmatism, and stoicism...
So original. Just enough information to construct the mythic belief system. When I finished the story I smiled and ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth again.
I love the changes you made since my first read. Chipping away a bit of the external world details and adding in more of the internal journey of Milena and her family. Perfect balance! Awesome work, Brian. Happy to read again for you anytime. 🙂
Thanks so much, Meg! I really appreciate the help. It's so amazing how having another writer/editor give their perspective casts a whole new light on it. I guess we both had to deal with rejections lately. Factor Four passed on it after about 45 days. From here on out all my short stories are staying right here 😁
I enjoyed the story. It made me want to know more about the taking tree, why/ how it works, what's wrong with mama, why they had to keep giving more teeth, etc.
Very interesting and original story. And well-written, too.
Thank you, Jim!
What a compact and powerful story of sacrifice Brian. It’s kind of magic how you created this world so economically. Loved it.
Thank you, Ben! Originally, I did have a few more paragraphs of world building, but they really took away from the story progression. Meg Oolders of https://stockfiction.substack.com helped me to see that when she did an initial read.
Thanks for reading!
This is awesome! I love the concept and the world you’ve created. Great stuff, Brian!
Thanks Justin, and thanks for reading and for your support!
A fascinating concept. I would imagine dentures are big sellers on that world. 🤣
😂😂😂 That's like when someone wears a hair piece. We all know!
True. But at least you could chew food! 🤣
What an incredible story of sacrifice. It sounds like something that could actually be a custom in some far flung corner of the world.
Thank you, David, and thanks for reading from the archives and commenting!
So simple, but creates such an impact. Well-written!
Thank you, Sujan!
A very good story. I throughly enjoyed it.
Papa
This was so wonderful and strange, and it raised as many questions as it answered. Lots to think about with this one, from the fascinating world and its limited resource to the way it influences the society's values. I love the tension between self-sacrifice, altruism, pragmatism, and stoicism...
Thank you! It definitely packed a lot of world building in a short story, something I enjoy doing more and more.
Oh, I was excited to see your name in my inbox this morning. A beautiful story of what we sacrifice in the World 🌎
Thank you for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
So original. Just enough information to construct the mythic belief system. When I finished the story I smiled and ran to the bathroom and brushed my teeth again.
Thanks Mark! When our teeth have such an extremely high value, I'm sure more people would take better care of them 😁
One of my Dad's memorable expressions from childhood was only brush the ones you want to keep
Very beautiful story. Very glad I read it.
Rudy
Thank you for reading, Rudolph! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
I was so excited to see this title in my inbox!
I love the changes you made since my first read. Chipping away a bit of the external world details and adding in more of the internal journey of Milena and her family. Perfect balance! Awesome work, Brian. Happy to read again for you anytime. 🙂
Thanks so much, Meg! I really appreciate the help. It's so amazing how having another writer/editor give their perspective casts a whole new light on it. I guess we both had to deal with rejections lately. Factor Four passed on it after about 45 days. From here on out all my short stories are staying right here 😁
Their loss. Our gain. 😊
I enjoyed the story. It made me want to know more about the taking tree, why/ how it works, what's wrong with mama, why they had to keep giving more teeth, etc.
Thank you for reading! This story definitely opened a whole wide world of questions. Maybe one day I'll answer some of them 😉
Thank you for reading!
Thank you, Nadia, and thanks for reading and subscribing!