27 Comments
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Dan Blakely's avatar

Great story - I knew this was going no where good once he crawled under the deck to hide. Love the use of the rain at the end.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks, Dan, I'm glad you noticed the use of the rain at the end, and thanks for reading and commenting!

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njakins@me.com's avatar

Whoa! Haunting and Beautiful. outstanding read Brian

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

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Jason McBride's avatar

Thoroughly enjoyed this! Great story

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Jason!

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Wil Dalton's avatar

You flinched! I wanted to read Wade getting blasted! Or at least hear a scream! On first read, when brother finds him lying down, like he wanted to nap, I bought he could be napping! Anyhow, I really like this setup of a normal conflict interrupted by something weird, the bad timing to have a fight aspect

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

I gave myself two for flinching and now my shoulder hurts. I considered Wade's fate in a number of different ways, including the full demise, but it didn't seem to fit.

Even though there was no deliciously horrific murder, I'm not sure this story was appreciated as it is. I lost four subscribers. 🤔🤔🤔

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Wil Dalton's avatar

Also! The fireflies popping was delightfully terrifying. Great job taking a summertime joy and twisting it to something horrible.

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Wil Dalton's avatar

Yeah, unless someone wrote to tell you why, it might not be the content that causes the unsubscribe! It could just be your latest post reminded them that they are subscribed to too many substacks

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

One of the downsides of recommendations is that I think a good deal of people blow through the subscribe process and don't realize they signed up for multiple newsletters. The first time they get one they unsubscribe. Just a theory.

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Wil Dalton's avatar

Makes sense to me. I’ve had the experience of getting an unsubscribe notice moments after posting, so unless they were a speed-reader, it was unlikely it was because of what I wrote.

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Wil Dalton's avatar

Did your brothers give you two for flinching? My brother and I didn’t pretend to hit growing up, so no punishment for flinching, but we hit each other plenty, playfully mostly.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

I don't think we ever hit each other, but there were a few scrappy wrestling days.

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Nicci Kadilak's avatar

Haunting and beautiful!!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Nicci! I guess it's a little thriller/horror and scifi. I have had a few of those lately.

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Olivia St. Lewis's avatar

I’m really enjoying these creepy supernatural stories! Are you planning on including them in your next book?

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Olivia! I've been trying to figure out how I want to handle short stories moving forward as far as publication. Right now, I'm leaning toward an ebook available to all paid subscribers, and then through Kindle as a purchase. Everyone gets to read it free, but once it goes behind the archive paywall it's only available in the ebook. I've got no plans though as of yet. Do you read ebooks, or do you prefer hard copies?

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Olivia St. Lewis's avatar

Makes sense! I don't have enough offerings yet to pull off something like that, but I've been thinking about something similar for my long-term plan. I love real books, but it's so hard to find time to sit down and read, and when I do have time I usually don't have the book, and vice versa. I usually settle for ebooks just because they're easier to have on demand.

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Michael S. Atkinson's avatar

I've never had a brother, only a sister, and after this I've slightly grateful. Spoooky.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Haha, well, I have two older brothers and an older sister, and it's never been this bad. My closest brother and I fought quite a bit growing up, but I don't think either of us would sell each other out to a supernatural entity... at least, we haven't' yet. 😂

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The Crazy Cat Lady Writes's avatar

Thanks for sharing that, a good read!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Kim!

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Rob Hutchiiinson's avatar

You created detailed moments of high tension and suspense which were very compelling. A very visual narrative which grabbed my attention - well done!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, R.D. for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

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Justin Deming's avatar

Spooky. The description of the creature and the line about the brother waking up seven hours later in the morgue were enough to give me chills. Great story, Brian!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Justin! I love a good creature feature.

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