I liked the story a lot and I just felt bad for the kid being yanked out of his home and life and sent to a completely different continent. I thought in metaphorical sense, you did a good job of capturing the sheer frustration and helplessness he's feeling.
On a theological note, if we took a literal interpretation, wouldn't the presence of an actual supernatural 'pagan' entity punch a hole in the entire point of missionary work?
Thanks for reading, Ken! Regarding the theology, I think there's definitely room for a loose interpretation. Biblically speaking from a Protestant Christian perspective there is the existence of two spiritual realms and one does contain demons. Manifestation in physical form on Earth though is less accepted as theologically accurate. It has more to do with moral influence, and that good and evil influence co-exists.
I was very engaged by the story but I find myself wondering… the son and father are still alive, Afi and Ode are near, the son has been branded as a troubled soul by the other young people. Though he's relieved to find his father alive, and though he feels bad about the hatred he had for him, nothing has really been resolved. What happens tomorrow when he meets the kids of the village?
Hi Ruben, thank you for the honest feedback. Internal struggles as the core conflict are some of the hardest to communicate. The resolution doesn't always come across quite as clear. In this case his soul is no longer troubled because he has learned (or is learning) he needs to let go of the hate. This repels Kikiyaon, which is inferred, but maybe not too obvious.
The thinking is that Ode would recognize the change of heart as well, but to some degree the locals would still not be as welcoming to outsiders. Although all of that is up for debate since I didn't think it through too much. Hope that helps clarify, and thanks for reading and commenting!
Wonderful story. I wonder: did you use the Hebrew name kikayaon deliberately? In the story of Jonah and the whale, Jonah, once back on land, sat in the shade of a kikayaon tree. Today that's the modern name for the castor bush.
Thanks, Miriam! The name is not one of my choosing, but the actual name of a cryptid from West Africa, which is also nicknamed "Soul Cannibal". It's spotty where the name originated, but Bambara is the native tongue from that area, and Kikiyaon might be a derivative of a word from Bambara.
Brian, I'm so glad you pulled this story out of the drawer, looked at it with new eyes, and shared it. This was great, to see what became of the struggle within him and what happened.
Thanks for reading, Edward! There was a point where I thought maybe it was a lost cause, but kept working it through to find the right conflict and resolution. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Excellent story Brian it took me back to the days when my parents were missionaries. we traveled to distant lands building missions and dealing with cultural and religious beliefs. I was always so happy to be back on US soil.
Thank you for reading and sharing! We had friends who were missionaries to Mali in West Africa, and the story really came out of hearing from some of their original experiences. In truth, some of the details wouldn't be accurate today, especially having an open-air church. Due to the security risks, it would likely be a secret house church where the pastor worked in a separate vocation, but that did not fit the story well.
I'm glad they didn't kill Peter, but I did entertain that version. The original premise was a bit more nefarious, and I modified it to focus on his own internal struggle with being in Africa instead of "fighting off" the locals. It served the story better. Thanks for reading, Olivia!
I liked the story a lot and I just felt bad for the kid being yanked out of his home and life and sent to a completely different continent. I thought in metaphorical sense, you did a good job of capturing the sheer frustration and helplessness he's feeling.
On a theological note, if we took a literal interpretation, wouldn't the presence of an actual supernatural 'pagan' entity punch a hole in the entire point of missionary work?
Thanks for reading, Ken! Regarding the theology, I think there's definitely room for a loose interpretation. Biblically speaking from a Protestant Christian perspective there is the existence of two spiritual realms and one does contain demons. Manifestation in physical form on Earth though is less accepted as theologically accurate. It has more to do with moral influence, and that good and evil influence co-exists.
I was very engaged by the story but I find myself wondering… the son and father are still alive, Afi and Ode are near, the son has been branded as a troubled soul by the other young people. Though he's relieved to find his father alive, and though he feels bad about the hatred he had for him, nothing has really been resolved. What happens tomorrow when he meets the kids of the village?
Hi Ruben, thank you for the honest feedback. Internal struggles as the core conflict are some of the hardest to communicate. The resolution doesn't always come across quite as clear. In this case his soul is no longer troubled because he has learned (or is learning) he needs to let go of the hate. This repels Kikiyaon, which is inferred, but maybe not too obvious.
The thinking is that Ode would recognize the change of heart as well, but to some degree the locals would still not be as welcoming to outsiders. Although all of that is up for debate since I didn't think it through too much. Hope that helps clarify, and thanks for reading and commenting!
Wonderful story. I wonder: did you use the Hebrew name kikayaon deliberately? In the story of Jonah and the whale, Jonah, once back on land, sat in the shade of a kikayaon tree. Today that's the modern name for the castor bush.
Thanks, Miriam! The name is not one of my choosing, but the actual name of a cryptid from West Africa, which is also nicknamed "Soul Cannibal". It's spotty where the name originated, but Bambara is the native tongue from that area, and Kikiyaon might be a derivative of a word from Bambara.
Brian, I'm so glad you pulled this story out of the drawer, looked at it with new eyes, and shared it. This was great, to see what became of the struggle within him and what happened.
Thanks for reading, Edward! There was a point where I thought maybe it was a lost cause, but kept working it through to find the right conflict and resolution. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Beautiful story. I enjoyed it a lot. Keep them coming.
Rudolph Ferro, rferro0322@gmail.com
Thank you, Rudolph!
Excellent story Brian it took me back to the days when my parents were missionaries. we traveled to distant lands building missions and dealing with cultural and religious beliefs. I was always so happy to be back on US soil.
Thank you for reading and sharing! We had friends who were missionaries to Mali in West Africa, and the story really came out of hearing from some of their original experiences. In truth, some of the details wouldn't be accurate today, especially having an open-air church. Due to the security risks, it would likely be a secret house church where the pastor worked in a separate vocation, but that did not fit the story well.
I really enjoyed this, Brian!
Thank you, James! I'm a sucker for a good cryptid story. 😁
I totally thought they were going to kill him there for a second.
I'm glad they didn't kill Peter, but I did entertain that version. The original premise was a bit more nefarious, and I modified it to focus on his own internal struggle with being in Africa instead of "fighting off" the locals. It served the story better. Thanks for reading, Olivia!
I like it! I was all set for the "you don't belong here, so we're just going to off you" storyline. I'm glad you saved him - and his dad!
Loved a good lesson of faith
Thank you for reading and commenting, Linda! A lot of that came about in the rewrite. The original version from 2008 was much different.