Thanks Claire! Hopefully no haunted houses are disappearing into another dimension, but it's better to be safe than sorry. That's my excuse for not going 😁
This story had my body tensed up! Aww, this was unsettling reminds me of what happens in life when psycho people have an opportunity to kill. It's good to have that intuition. Some people walk right into danger not being aware. Good for George for observing and following through with his intuition. Very good read Brian. I see many people in the ER daily that don't use their intuition and end up injured or sometimes gone permanently.
Thank you for reading! When my son was much younger, I used to talk to him about being aware of his surroundings at all times. It's a skill that needs to be learned, and I'm surprised by how many kids grow up to be adults who don't develop the intuition for detecting danger. That would be why you still see so many people in ER!
Thanks Tom! I went back and forth about cutting that. It was supposed to be another expression of the fact that George has lived a harder, more complicated life, giving him street smarts, unlike Andreas, who lives under the protection of a comfortable bubble. Ever since we started talking about character development in stories, it's in the back of my mind about the subtleties of presenting an arc and trying to find ways to do that. Thanks for your feedback! Those little tidbits help me as I'm writing.
Yeah, I thought the setup on the characterization was really good--I felt their differences very clearly. And I think that’s why I felt like the line I commented on was too heavy-handed. You’d already done the work. Anyway, thanks for taking my comment in the spirit it was intended. If you prefer me to send comments like this via email I can. I recognize that my appetite for giving and getting constructive criticism is ... unusual, maybe.
I think these are great in the comments because other writers in our community would find them helpful. Having some feedback is critical to me growing as a writer, and so I would prefer it. Yours is always constructive as well, which is beneficial! In another couple weeks, I'll have another short story for you to provide feedback on for the Elegant Literature monthly contest, if you're up for it 😁
I agree Brian! I always wish I would hear more from people about the stuff that isn't working. Honest conversation is what I dig most about Substack. Bring on another story, I'm happy to look at it.
A fun and entertaining story, Brian. It’s one that makes me not want to go to a haunted house anytime soon. 😅 Parts of it reminded me of Something Wicked This Way Comes. Kudos to you for creating such a well written and compelling story!
Thanks Justin! It's been probably 25 years since I've been to a haunted house, and I can't say I miss them 😁 However, I love the aesthetic because all things Halloween are so fun! Thanks for reading 👍
This right here is why I don't like haunted houses 😱 Great spooky story!
Thanks Claire! Hopefully no haunted houses are disappearing into another dimension, but it's better to be safe than sorry. That's my excuse for not going 😁
This story had my body tensed up! Aww, this was unsettling reminds me of what happens in life when psycho people have an opportunity to kill. It's good to have that intuition. Some people walk right into danger not being aware. Good for George for observing and following through with his intuition. Very good read Brian. I see many people in the ER daily that don't use their intuition and end up injured or sometimes gone permanently.
Thank you for reading! When my son was much younger, I used to talk to him about being aware of his surroundings at all times. It's a skill that needs to be learned, and I'm surprised by how many kids grow up to be adults who don't develop the intuition for detecting danger. That would be why you still see so many people in ER!
Great story, Brian. Really well done!
Thanks for reading, Mark! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Ooh, I liked that one! The line about George’s dad fleeing an active shooter felt out of place, like a red herring, but the overall story was great.
Thanks Tom! I went back and forth about cutting that. It was supposed to be another expression of the fact that George has lived a harder, more complicated life, giving him street smarts, unlike Andreas, who lives under the protection of a comfortable bubble. Ever since we started talking about character development in stories, it's in the back of my mind about the subtleties of presenting an arc and trying to find ways to do that. Thanks for your feedback! Those little tidbits help me as I'm writing.
Yeah, I thought the setup on the characterization was really good--I felt their differences very clearly. And I think that’s why I felt like the line I commented on was too heavy-handed. You’d already done the work. Anyway, thanks for taking my comment in the spirit it was intended. If you prefer me to send comments like this via email I can. I recognize that my appetite for giving and getting constructive criticism is ... unusual, maybe.
I think these are great in the comments because other writers in our community would find them helpful. Having some feedback is critical to me growing as a writer, and so I would prefer it. Yours is always constructive as well, which is beneficial! In another couple weeks, I'll have another short story for you to provide feedback on for the Elegant Literature monthly contest, if you're up for it 😁
I agree Brian! I always wish I would hear more from people about the stuff that isn't working. Honest conversation is what I dig most about Substack. Bring on another story, I'm happy to look at it.
Thank God for George’s common sense!
A fun and entertaining story, Brian. It’s one that makes me not want to go to a haunted house anytime soon. 😅 Parts of it reminded me of Something Wicked This Way Comes. Kudos to you for creating such a well written and compelling story!
Thanks Justin! It's been probably 25 years since I've been to a haunted house, and I can't say I miss them 😁 However, I love the aesthetic because all things Halloween are so fun! Thanks for reading 👍