Great job on this. So well written. I'm a crime fiction writer but as a reader, I have a wide spectrum of interests and appreciate fine writing no matter the genre. This story was a prime example of the fine writing I seek. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Jim, I appreciate you reading and commenting! Speculative holds a special place in my heart, and when I can reach a broad group of people, no matter their interests, it's very satisfying. 👍
Excellent piece, Brian. I love speculative writing where the big themes (like extended longevity vs. natural senescence) sit in the background but are pulled on by the plot and characters.
Thank you, Johnathan! I'm much more conscious of themes now than I used to but I'm attempting to bring that to the reader's attention without preaching. I don't necessarily want to provide answers so much as raise good questions alongside an entertaining dose of fiction.
Heinlein was one innovator in this regard, particularly with social themes (although could get long-winded), whereas Herbert tended to avoid any detailed explanations.
Clarke, Niven and Asimov tended to the other end of the spectrum - not surprising, given their backgrounds.
Brian! This piece reminds me of why I love speculative fiction. So well written and, oh, that twist.
The other day on a hike, I was lamenting with my cousin how it’s sad that human lives are so ephemeral—simply bc we have such little time to evolve and grow and learn to live in harmony with each other and the planet. But then we were like, but would humans get better with more time really? Or would it just create bigger opportunity for destruction? I think your pointing to vapidity here is … well, certainly a possibility.
Haha. I digress. Mostly meant to comment that I really enjoyed this piece!
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment, Holly, and for sharing the story of your conversation. That was very much my thought process as I wrote the story, considering the angle of immortality in a modern society and how we might take it for granted. It's nice to know I hit on something that people are actually conversing about in their everyday lives.
Oh, that was so good, Brian. Such a surprise ending. And the depths of the conversation just touching on death and not delving too deep into it. The fact you can say so much in such a short space.
Wow! The beginning captivated me (the last mortal?) but the ending blew me out of the water. What an interesting hypothetical question/comment on humanity.
Thank you, Virginia, I'm happy you enjoyed it! I tried to get the reader to think about the prospect without being too preachy. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Brian,
Great job on this. So well written. I'm a crime fiction writer but as a reader, I have a wide spectrum of interests and appreciate fine writing no matter the genre. This story was a prime example of the fine writing I seek. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Jim, I appreciate you reading and commenting! Speculative holds a special place in my heart, and when I can reach a broad group of people, no matter their interests, it's very satisfying. 👍
Fine writing is right, Jim! I loved this one.
Really enjoyed this. Bravo! 🤩
Illustrates exactly why short fiction is so very worthwhile, especially speculative fiction.
Thank you, Parker! I love short fiction, and I suspect that I'll be writing it for a long time.
That ending was not what I expected...well done!
Thank you, Carolyn, I'm glad you liked it!
This is deep. This is quite neatly composed and with a good flow to it too. I love the symbolism. Thank you for sharing this piece.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Ika! I appreciate the feedback.
Excellent piece, Brian. I love speculative writing where the big themes (like extended longevity vs. natural senescence) sit in the background but are pulled on by the plot and characters.
Thank you, Johnathan! I'm much more conscious of themes now than I used to but I'm attempting to bring that to the reader's attention without preaching. I don't necessarily want to provide answers so much as raise good questions alongside an entertaining dose of fiction.
It's a tricky balance. My writing rule of thumb for this is: "If you're having to explain or preach it then your protagonist ain't gonna need it! "
With regard to technological themes, I've outlined some thoughts here: https://reiditwrite.substack.com/p/creating-fictional-tech
Heinlein was one innovator in this regard, particularly with social themes (although could get long-winded), whereas Herbert tended to avoid any detailed explanations.
Clarke, Niven and Asimov tended to the other end of the spectrum - not surprising, given their backgrounds.
Great vibes, and another interesting philosophical experiment. This is the best kind of SF.
It's just the kind I love writing!
Brian! This piece reminds me of why I love speculative fiction. So well written and, oh, that twist.
The other day on a hike, I was lamenting with my cousin how it’s sad that human lives are so ephemeral—simply bc we have such little time to evolve and grow and learn to live in harmony with each other and the planet. But then we were like, but would humans get better with more time really? Or would it just create bigger opportunity for destruction? I think your pointing to vapidity here is … well, certainly a possibility.
Haha. I digress. Mostly meant to comment that I really enjoyed this piece!
Thank you for such a thoughtful comment, Holly, and for sharing the story of your conversation. That was very much my thought process as I wrote the story, considering the angle of immortality in a modern society and how we might take it for granted. It's nice to know I hit on something that people are actually conversing about in their everyday lives.
Thanks for reading!
Thank you Brian,
Very well-written and compelling story! I appreciate always finding fine short fiction and really enjoyed reading yours.
Thank you, Sergej!
Ya got me! That was a great ending.
Thank you, Tsubion!
This might be the best one yet, Brian.
Thank you, Bryn! That means I can only go down from here. 😂
😂 no way. Tomorrow holds even more promise 😤
Oh, that was so good, Brian. Such a surprise ending. And the depths of the conversation just touching on death and not delving too deep into it. The fact you can say so much in such a short space.
Thank you for reading and commenting, Ben! I enjoy writing these short stories and testing what I can accomplish in short form.
A thought-provoking story. Well done.
Thank you, Mark!
Loved it, thank you.
Thank you, Colin!
A nice bite-size unapologetic piece. Well done.
Thank you, Yoav!
Wow! The beginning captivated me (the last mortal?) but the ending blew me out of the water. What an interesting hypothetical question/comment on humanity.
Thank you, Virginia, I'm happy you enjoyed it! I tried to get the reader to think about the prospect without being too preachy. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
Love this 👏🏻
Thank you, Osasuyi!