25 Comments
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Miriam Kresh's avatar

I love the word play on "murder of crows!" Well woven, intricate short story.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Miriam! It was fun to write. 😁

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Brian Scott Pauls's avatar

You caught me by surprise with the play on words! ;)

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Brian! So far nobody caught on until the end, so I must have done something right. 😁

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Justin Deming's avatar

Wow! What a cleverly written tale, Brian. The pacing was perfect, and I didn’t see the twist coming at all. I loved this from start to finish!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Justin! You mentioned you were pretty busy the last few weeks, and I hope you'll soon get some time to rest and write with school coming to a close for the summer. I look forward to some future fantasy tales along the Hudson. 😁

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Sujan Sundareswaran's avatar

Ha! Wonderful twist! :D

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Sujan. 😁

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njakins@me.com's avatar

My heart was pounding wondering how is he going to escape the fortune teller was only able to see so much. Or did the fortune teller summon the Crows? But it was she who saved him in the end. Will the Light now shine brilliantly and the Darkness slowly fade? Excellent read!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you! That contrast between light and dark was an important theme and I'm happy you enjoyed it! Thank you for your support.

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Claire Walster's avatar

Loved it, Brian! The repetition throughout was wonderful, and the word play at the end was so fun. I could totally see him being lifted away with the crows!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks, Claire, I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

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Scott Ocamb's avatar

Very vivid story. Good job.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Scott!

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S.E. Reid's avatar

Yesss, fantastic!! The fortune teller speaks in riddles! Had me from start to finish. ✨

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks for reading! Was this a vignette? We'll never know. 🤔

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Jason McBride's avatar

Great story! I'm supposed to be leaving to take my kid to school, but you had your story hooks in me and I had to finish reading. (I'm sure I'll still get her there on time, otherwise I'll write her a great excuse note)

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Lol, I'm the same way in the morning taking my son to school. Just a few more sentences. 😂 Thanks for reading, Jason!

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James Ron's avatar

Gosh! Well done, Brian!

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thanks, James!

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Lance Cummings's avatar

I really like your vivid descriptions and how you kept the action going with repetition! The fortune teller's cryptic predictions added an intriguing layer of mystery while also exploring themes of destiny and the struggle between light and darkness.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you, Lance! I definitely wanted that clear distinction between light and dark and it was very intentional. I'm glad you noticed. Thanks for reading and commenting.

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Redd Oscar's avatar

Bravo! Good feint with words mixed with all the richness of fantasy.

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Brian Reindel 👾⚔️'s avatar

Thank you! It's great to see how we went in opposite directions with the resolution. I'm excited to read everyone's prompt stories.

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Redd Oscar's avatar

Indeed. For most of yours I thought you'd written a tragedy, the feint was a pleasant surprise. Can't wait to see everyone elses.

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